There comes a time in everyone’s life, where you have to make make a choice or choices designed to guide you towards fulfilling what you feel the formidable plan should be – no, will be. Decisions of this magnitude are often times difficult. Making the right choice often hinges on lessons from the past, taught by institution certified teachers and beloved parents and kinfolk of wisdom. In the end however, the landlord of the choice made, is you!

This edition of ‘What Little I know…’ is going to be the first and the last of heavy prose, as it represents a current and very monumental event in my life.

Six-weeks ago, I made the difficult and cognizant decision to resign from my role at a large media organization. It was a role that gave a young leader, such as myself, everything materially that I could ever ask for. Through this job, I purchased a home in a trendy area of Downtown Toronto, Ontario. Through this role, I was able to purchase the car, or at least one of them, that I always wanted and through this role, I was able to travel, often times to destinations I chose at whim. Resigning, on the other hand, gave me a chance to walk away from a mono-dimensional way of living, thinking and socializing. No more consuming 80 hours a week, in a bubble like state. To be honest, the realization of the need to resign and attain ‘more’ came last May, when I attended a funeral for someone I knew in high school. This individual was my age and with, what most would say, a bright future ahead of him. The one thing that really struck a chord with me, as I sat attentively waiting for the funeral procession to begin, was the number of people that came out to say goodbye to my friend. The funeral home was so full that to accommodate all, they had to televise the ceremony in the gymnasium next door. Nonetheless, as I looked at the different faces, races and ages in the satellite location it made me think, how many lives or which lives have I touched over the years and who would feel compelled to attend my funeral? When you looked at our lives, my deceased friend and I, and compared them, on face value and based on the beliefs of common society, many would have thought that I made all the right choices and was living a fulfilled life. However, when I thought about who would attend my funeral, I came up with approximately 15 people, and they were family members who would be somewhat forced, by relation, to attend. Then it hit me – my deceased friend, who may not have had the trendy condominium and fast car, clearly made some strong decision for the preservation of self and all that it means to attain ‘more’- this was obvious when you looked at the number of lives he touched. At that point, I knew I had dedicated everything, my entire being to just a job. I dedicated my life to a thing that really was not fulfilling or aiding me in exploring my passions. Most of all, I spent the past five working years ignoring my loved ones, my fabulous friends, my spirituality and in the end, blindly ignoring me.

So, funnily enough, my resignation comes close to the one-year anniversary of my awakening. It is unfortunate that it took this long to come to fruition, but everything happens in its due time.

In turning a new leaf in life, I look forward to continuing to work, but for myself, pursuing the things that drive me. Although to some around me, this choice that I have made, in their eyes resembles walking away from the greatest boon in a gold mine, I know that with passion, comes drive, with drive comes growth, and with growth comes success.

Now I think I am finally ready and understand what it means to go out and attain ‘more’.

written by Beverly Crandon